An old man goes to the doctor

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "What?" "What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."

Adventures in punctuation

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about.
You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not
like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have
ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no
feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever
happy--will you let me be yours?
Jane

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about
you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like
you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined
me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings
whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy.
Will yo! u let me be?
Yours,
Jane

My English is not bad like this ....

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in USA

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English
conversation training before he visited Washington and met president
Bill Clinton.

The instructor told Mori: "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with
President Clinton, please say 'how are you'.Then Mr. Clinton should say,
" I am fine, and you?"
Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do all
the work for you."

It looks quite simple, but the truth is....
When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who are you?". Mr. Clinton
was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humour:
"Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha..ha..ha.."
Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha..ha..ha.."
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

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